It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Randomize
