it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I need to align my fucking chakras
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
