Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
