super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
