I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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