if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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