the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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