in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
