4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
