Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize