I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
