these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
