im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
