i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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