He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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