Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
