i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
