There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Farmville is her only friend.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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