I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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