Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
i now understand why vodka
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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