her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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