I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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