Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
