so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
