Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
