You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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