plz talk dirty to me
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize