btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
