I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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