dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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