WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize