He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just high enough for therapy.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
