In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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