Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
