'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
