So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You need Xanax blowdarts
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
