So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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