census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
