dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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