Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
