genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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