my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
