my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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