I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
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