At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
