so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
