do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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