I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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