I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
