I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I wear drunk well.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
