I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
