I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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