Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Randomize
