I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize