Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize