That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Randomize
