soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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