I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
