I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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