you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
