it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize