Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize